Our son Eric died on April 8, 2015, from a heroin overdose cut with fentanyl. Eric struggled with substance use for 10 years and was clean for 2 years and 4 months when he relapsed after a doctor prescribed him Xanax for anxiety. It was a matter of 3 weeks later that Eric died. After his death, I wrote our story for therapy, and that same story was published as a book titled A Family’s Story of Addiction, Death, and Recovery.
I was not prepared for a world that involved SUD, and most people aren’t because we all think, “It won’t happen to me or my family.” When my wife, Marlene, and I found out our son was struggling every day to feel “normal,” we found we were in over our heads. What started as trying to control, shame, and force our son to get back on track turned into respecting him as a person and setting boundaries.
How, do you ask? It took years of educating ourselves. From support groups to faith to opening our ears and listening to our son, we learned how to navigate life with SUD but, more importantly, how to continue living after tragedy hit our home. Some people think it’s a condition someone can stop, but when you’ve lived around it, you realize it’s not easy. It’s a constant battle.
Eric played hockey as a youth; he was a goalie. He found his passion as an adult as a sous chef. He loved to cook. Who is Eric Michael? I use “is” and not “was” because Eric is still with us — just in a different manner. We hear him when we listen to music he loved. He’s with us when we go out to dinner and get a glimpse of the chefs in the kitchen, and we hear him giving directions when we cook at home. We’ll never forget the sound of his voice, laugh, or mannerisms.
Of course, life is not the same, but we move on the best we can. We established an endowment at Macomb Community College, which Eric attended, for the culinary department for competition. Eric loved to compete in these competitions. We also share our story, so others understand the dangers of this disease. Giving helps the soul and heart heal.
I tell people I have 10 reasons for living life to the fullest. We have two adult children and seven grandchildren. We want to be a part of their lives. And the 10th reason? The day I see Eric again, I don’t want him to be upset that I didn’t live life to the fullest.
A Family’s Story of Addiction, Death, and Recovery is on sale at Barnes and Noble, Amazon, and other retailers.
